Thursday, June 28

abi {troubles with friends}

Sometimes my friends do things that surprise me. For example, one friend told the class in an assignment that she is in love with golf. I was like, wow! I never knew that!

My friends were surprised with me a little while ago.  I chose to do something unexpected and they felt offended by it.  I had been part of a group with them for a long time but this year I chose to spend some time with some other people as well. My friends got really offended and made a big deal about it.

I felt a little bit hurt by how they handled the situation.  I never thought they were people who would do that type of thing when someone makes different choices from the other people.

I realised I could try to stay friends with them and put up with it or just leave and put it behind me. I chose to put it behind me, but you could choose different. 

I've thought about why they didn't like my decision to have other friends and I think it's because of the way I told them about my decision.  Next time something like this happens I would speak to them more kindly about it so we can still be friends.

Now that I have changed groups I can see they had good reason to be hurt but I think the way they treated me was pretty mean.  I don't see why they have to be rude about my choices.

I have learned that when people say something that offends you, you need to get over it and get on with life. Just remember to always ignore them if they are getting to you.  

Always remember to explain your decisions straight to people's faces.  

If someone surprises you about what they've decided to do, you can feel okay about it and say to them "It's okay, you said it to my face, I understand what you mean."  If you can say that then your friend is reassured that at least someone understands.

I think it's wrong to make people feel bad about their decisions because everyone's different and they all have different minds and the way they think.

I just hope my message gets through to people that get stuck in things like this.

From Abi

Karen's note...
This post was written by Abi at my request. She recently weathered a sticky situation and I wanted her to reflect on how it played out.  These are all her own words, but I did ask her many questions and I prompted her to think about the issue from different angles.  I'm really impressed with what she came up with!


  1. Melc_19117:50 AM

    You are a very sensible young lady Abi. I think you have reflected back on the situation and learnt from how you handled things. Unfortunately we can't always control how other people react and how they handle things. Sorry they were a bit mean to you. Your mum and dad must be very proud of you and the lovely young lady you are becoming

    1. Thanks for the comment. I think I handled it really well and I hope I can use these same skills next time. Well, I hope I remember!
      from Abi

  2. Anonymous1:45 PM

    Wow Abi. I'm really very impressed.

    I went to an all girls high school, and I had many many issues with my friends.

    The problem with teenage girls (and guys too I suppose) is that we just want to fit in (I would like to point out I was a teenager a loooooooooooooooong time ago!!) When we want to just fit in, we tend to do what everyone else is doing. As soon as we establish that we actually have different thoughts and opinions, it makes us a target for mean comments.

    Seriously Abi, for you to just get it at your age is super impressive. And you are very lucky to have such a supportive mum.

    Looking forward to more blog posts from you!

    1. A. I like your name! It's starting to give me some ideas for when I get my own blog or Twitter!

      B. Thank you for the advice for when I'm a teenager.

      C. Thank you for complimenting my post.

      D. Bye bye!

      From Abi (IRuleTheWorld!)

  3. Anonymous9:29 PM

    What a well written thought Abi. An important skill in life is self examination - and some people never get very good at doing this. It's important to regularly check yourself, as you've done here - what could I have done differently? Could I have handled things better? How can I improve my behavior so I can avoid this situation in the future?
    Just remember that friendships are organic - some last for years, some are short-lived but still special, and some will fade in and out throughout your life. And you know, it's ok! That's just how things are so just enjoy those who are your fiends today and look forward to those you'll meet in the future :)

  4. Anonymous9:32 PM

    Hi again... Of course I mean "friends" not "fiends"... Though at times some might seem like that!)


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